NEW JINN!

Last year when i know the truth, i start to emoooo quite often, especially the first week.

BUT...a year after, which is 2 days back...

I learn another way to LOVE a person, during this 1 year, i know that he still never really change, especially with me. Well, due to some matter, I learn to love him another way.

Not to increase his burden, not to increase his "fan nao", i choose to carry all those alone. But i know how 2 handle with those burdens now.

Thats the reason y today i made a really HARSH ch

oice~....i CUT MY HAIR SHORTT!!

after cutting all those hairsssss, the sadnessss, the burdenssss, stresssnessss all fall of one by one~..they just slip of my head, i feel that i'm loosseee with all thoseee emonessss..

However, is never easy to just forget those mo

ments together.

Just remember the happy moments together, then you will be just fine. That is how i releassee all those burdensss..

Love doesn't mean that u must be with that person, NO!..

LOVE a person is not adding burdens t

o him, not addi

ng hurts n "fan nao" on him..NO!

THe most important, he happy....then wat u do is worthful~..then i'm happy as well.....

However, from now on, I will serious focus on my studiess, my JAZZ..n IMPROVISATION!..

n nowwww~....pics NEW J

INN

xie xie ni dai gei wo kuai le he bei shang......

wo hui hao hao guo wo de sheng huo~ ni ye bu yong wei wo er fan nao le....

jia you ba~..

那个女孩~

有一天，有个女孩坐在沙滩上看着海。看着看着，突然想起四天前所发生过的事。她感觉她这一生来担子最大的时候。

那天，女孩因为考试压力，摆着一个很累的脸给他看。他也明白，带女孩去沙滩走走放轻松。女孩在车睡了一下，没想到一醒来，车就弯进海滩去。女孩好奇的问：“为什么转进这里？”那男的却答：“带你放轻松啦！不好啊，回家咯~”

结果他们就在沙滩上走走，那男的有好几下想抱那女孩但女孩怕自己太重拒绝了。但那男的却说：“让我抱抱看，你有没有重了？” 哈哈。。结果那女的还是没给他抱。

走完了，就去玩很大很大的象棋。那男的不会玩，女孩也教他怎么玩结果他也放弃了。

他们逗留在那边大约有1个小时就回家了。回到家女的就爬上床睡了，还叫男的叫她起床继续读书。

过了不久，女的也醒了继续读书。那男的陪了几下就睡了，真是睡猪一个。

女孩读下书觉得闷，突然看见了他的电话。就拿起他的电话看看里面的东西

那女的看到有很多他和她女朋友的合照。心里是哀痛的却当着设么都没看到。过后他就到信息箱去。既然被他看到他写了：

“老婆，我从去年都不爱她了，我放弃她了，我现在爱的是你，我都把心给了你，不要离开我好吗”

当时这女孩的脑里一切是空白的，眼泪就像刚开喉咙水那样一次流个不停。她跑出房外哭了。但那个男的什么都没发觉到。

那个女孩突然就回到房间，看着床上睡着的男孩自己却哭得不停。她收拾桌上的书，拿起包包走写了一封信，走向他额头吻了一下就走出房间。

头脑什么都想不到，只记得那些读过的信息。那女孩一边走着一边哭着，突然一群野狗对着她吠。那女孩很怕狗，被狗追过也被咬过。当时的她很想倒回头回到那男孩的家但还是坚持不要。那女孩感觉好像走头无路了，因为走到哪里就一定有很多只狗。过了没多久，那女孩想起了一位朋友叫家玮。她misscall了他，但他没接。那时的她简直是失去方向，很怕，又心痛，脑力却想起那些心痛的信息。真是活该！！。。

过了不久，那女孩的朋友复她电话了。她朋友吓倒却在电话里骂了那女孩。真是活该，电话也快没钱了。跨电话前，他叫朋友来载，还叫那女孩不要乱走。（当时那电话里的朋友不在当地）

那女孩的电话也没钱了。当时的她很绝望，很心痛。想着刚刚那女孩和那个男孩都还很开心的在沙滩散步走走。

还记得从去年跟她说过的每一句话。

虽然知道不能像以前那样的相处却傻傻的爱着那男孩。

那女孩好几次想要放弃，好想要放开，就好好的让他们在一起，但那个男的不放开那女的，说了好多好多让女孩再次重新的力量等待和陪伴他。就知道是痛，但那女孩还是承受着那些痛。因为只要有爱，他们又多亲密的和照或有多甜蜜的信息她都可以承受。

但是那女孩始终不明白为什么他要这样写。那女孩明明知道那男孩不是坏人却找不到设么原因他要这样写。

当时的女孩坐在那男孩的家外面，因为那里是最没狗的地方。女孩已经离开了那男孩的房间有一段时间了，但那男孩什么都没察觉到。

女孩的视线没有一次离开过他房间，希望等他醒了以后会直接跑出来找她。但希望越大，失望越高。那男孩 还在睡觉。

结果车来了，女孩也上了车，但视线还是在那男孩的房间。还是没发觉到她真的走了出来。

女孩心痛的离开了那里。

这是第二次，那女孩什么都没说就走掉了。

过了不久，那男的终于醒了。发现女孩不见了，打了好几百通电话给那女孩。那女孩心痛的不敢接电话，很怕在听到那男孩的声音。结果就传发了一封信息说不用担心，她很安全。

但那个男的不停的打电话，女的也不停的哭。

那男孩孩还去她家等她回家。

这时，那女孩很矛盾。他心里到底是爱谁？

不懂！头也很乱。。。。他也传发了好几封信息来。

那女的在心里想，她到底是被玩吗？

Anyone knows the ending?? fit it some endings u guys think is a good ending?

HELP

Is 1am in the morning, and i still havent open my books to study..

No mood, everything just dun stick in the brain..

wat is this~!!...

i need SOS

HELP!!

WHY!!

Now is 4am in the morning, just finish revising for theory later at 8am.

The minute i rest for awhile, thoughtttssss and emonesssssss come crouching at me again~!!..

....i just want to concentrate on my studies... why??

tearsss n stresssnesss, problemmmsss that canot been solve just come one by one..

As if they know the right time to hunt u....

WHY!!!...

a lost blog...

Exams is just round the corner, NO!..is just next week!!

For so many months of studies and lessons being thought, frankly tell you, i revise but not every subject, i practice but not every time..is not proud to say tat but is true..

Today writing this post, i dun know what is my main point anyway. Like what i said previously. I lost my direction. Well, i just writ what that is in my heart, but not all...

My emoness never once left me since tat day, i've tried to kick off this emoness but it never once success. Because i know tat is not easy when both party has already given everything to make both party happy even this very moment. For some people might think that i'm not matured to deal my problem, but please i have my right to handle it myself, though for some people, especially my love oness. They might not agree but i just have to run my life my own in future. They love me i know, i sincerely know that they love me. I love them too, but i dun know how to express it. For some reason, i have to kept everything inside me. I don;t want to pour it out is not because that i scared that they will pity me, b'cz i know they wont. Is just tat, sometimes,some matters especially personal problems is really better to just keep it in heart. ( i know again, my love oness will still disagree this)

今年我21岁了。一般人都会想怎么过？，和谁过？

今天，看了一个blog。就决定不想在期待什么。。。久顺其自然就好。

虽然之前都会提醒你一定要帮我度过我21岁的生日，你都会讲一定会。

可是现在， 我还是不要期待设么。因为怕失望还比期待恐怖。

可是你说过的每一句话，我都会放在心里。不会期待你会实现但至少你告诉我，我已经满足了

或取只是一封“Happy Birthday" 我都会好好save起来。

因为你还是一样那么重要。

可以说是永远吧。

I lost my direction

Writing this in the midst of practicing my instrument. Take a break awhile~

This semester is a hectic sem..lots of assignments, homeworks, practicing and lotsssss to do~

With all the assignments compiling together one by one, i found myself don't know which to do first.

Not only assignments, but also my major minor instrument.

i still can't get the tone for jAZZ... practice the piece over and over again, try to get the tone, try to feel the soul in it but still cannot feel anything. Maybe i felt it but i'm not sure~..

Violin is also another prob~ Intonation part is still my weakness~...

without having the correct intonation, i can't play a piece well..huhu..

All kinds of emotions keep on bugging me~..

All this emotions can make me feel so down in just seconds..

I've cried before for no reasons, or maybe "my prob"....

I find myself had lost my direction....

Don't know what to do, don't know how to handle, don't know how to just let my brain focus on things that is useful.

upper BRACES ON!!

UPPER BRACES ON!!!!!....

hehehhee....

ZE KUAN!!....u see la...wait till i take off those pagar~, i show off to u !!..

hehehe....