As long as you are Happy

I keep on thinking...whether should i write this...

i thought the previous blog is the last blog i've ever written..

I thought i can really handle everything by myself..

I thought i can stop spitting out everything here and put it inside my heart.

i thought..........

............................................

my heart's quota is full...

is full with all kinds of feelings..

Till this very moment, everywhere i go, memories owez strikes me harshly in my heart..

However, i trained myself not to let it bleed out to the outer appearance.

I'm strong!...

I wont let you know all this while how i tell myself...

How i "chui mian" myself..what i did at first, is my right choice for you and her..

Now i think back, 2 months ago..is the right choice i never answer all those calls you called..

and you stop calling or even greet me " merry christmas" until now..

well..maybe i should be proud of you, you choose the right way..

i should be proud of you, somehow..you also helped me in changing to another person..

I'm happy actually...

I...............

Today is the last day of 2011...I remember the same day last year...I cried so badly until i bring it forward to the next year which is this year..

Do you remember wat you told me? do you?

well...i bet you forgot..i remember so clearly without even trying to think..

cz wat ever you told me i put in heart..n i dun know wat on earth i did that for...

This 2 months of loosing contact wif each other, actually i felt double emotions..

FIrst..of cz..i felt relieved..i felt I'm doing something good for you..I want you to be happy..I don't want you to be upset b'cz of me..so i did tat choice not to pick up your phone..

I see it rings so many times..i want to pick up..but i urge myself..not to..b'cz it might spoil my plan..well at least i did a good job in it..

SECONDLY..

i felt so depressed...i felt so sad..

all this years..we know each other...we never once loose contact wif each other..

and now...i stop it..i cut it off..jz b'cz i love u so damn much..

BUT

the happiness i want from you covers all those hurts and depressed that i'm facing..

so all i need to do is just telling myself all this is just to see u smile and b happy wif the person u are wif now..

Is good that we never contact..at least you can earn back your trust in her again

and secondly, i can really focus on my studies..

seriously..

i know most of the times, memories owez pop up wherever i go..

at least..now..i smile while think back our memories..

i know you understand me more than i really do...

you must be thinking.."am i that strong? am i sure?"

well....

i can tell you the truth..

NO...not really...i struggle so much...i trained myself to convert tears into smile once memories of us strikes me..

BUT...it's only the beginning...is just the start..i have so many times to trained myself..

is oni 2 months...i can oredy see a bit of changes .

wat if few more months we never contact, even years...or even in future..

i believe..i can make it..i can smile and laugh without acting..

is so sad to let a person that understand each other to become like strangers...i felt so sad. If there is a choice...i will not loose even if it only left friendship..

but i know, if all this still continuee..i will be as bad as a satan..

if in years to come...you saw me anywhere in streets...just say hi to me..i wont run away or act like i don't know you...

cz...i know you..from the bottom of my heart..

Well..i know there is no other ways you and her can read my blog,

so...yea..you wont see this anyway...

so..

yea..

HAPPY BLESSED NEW YEAR to u

and May your happiness be forever wif the person u love..

in advance..
Happy Chinese New Year, Happy Valentines,

and

HAPPY birthday to u...

n

i miss you..

Last blogging~

I love to blog..

because i don't know where to express everything in my heart.

However, what you write in the blog can lead to a misunderstanding because it only needed a pair of eye to read.

So~

This gonna be the last blog for now.

So I'll just end this blog with what i gone through the whole day.

I can't sleep the whole night last nite~ thinking a lot of things..

Woke up very early cz i have a performance in ums.

Tried my very best to fit in the flow throughout the performance, Thank God everything went ok~..

After everything ended, went to fetch my mom..

My mom keep asking "why are you so quiet?"

and stupid me answer " Cz I'm hungry, no tenaga to talk" =.=

I went to cut my hair again~..

I jut don't know how to explain, each time i'm too happy....I will go and cut my hair..

however it helps a lot in releasing a lot of my stressness and burdenss.

This blog gonna be the last..

I dun knw where to release everything.. maybe have to 看海 more often now..

But it helps a lot in reducing misunderstanding..

Well~...

everything back to the heart..i hope it has more capacity to fit in all those frustration.

This blog was first created on the 10th August 2011..and end on the 29October 2011..

I read back all this 180 post..this what i gone through from the year 2009 till now 2011.

i knw my changes..

Okay~..not gonna write much..

Have a good day..

God bless everyone~

Why?

Second year of studying

everything is getting tougher each day~...

Stress and emotions strike every single day..

However, i tried my very best to become a better person, be a better person than the previous me.

Coming to 2 years dy,

During this period of time, i have change a lot...

you are the 1 that really cause me to change.

Because of you, i want to be stronger so tat i would not fall back to the same trap again..

Because of you, i tried so hard to slim down, build back the confidence that i once lost

Because of you, I train myself so hard in not to fall a single tears when hurts strike~..

Because of you...

Because of you...

Why?

Until this very moment..i still asking why?

It has been almost 2 years..i ask myself over and over again...WHY?

Why we still keep in touch..

Why we can't just put a fullstop..

Why you want my pics for..

Why do you call once awhile..

Why do i still layan you...

Why i just can't accept other guy..

Why do you still wanna meet up

Why?? Why?? Why??

all i want to knw is WHY?

DONT YOU DARE FALL a single drop of tears!

i don't want to cry!

i promise myself not to CRY!!

WHY!!

why??...

DONT you DARE fall a single drop of tears~..

I DON't want to CRY for the rest of my life!.....

pleaseeee~...

do u want me to beg in front of u??

I want my Happy JINN back..

where there is no fake smile~

TIme..

I believe u can heal me..

But please....

i need you to be faster~...

finish my studies, then i can leave KK for practical..

there...u can slowly heal me...

Get BACK up AGAIN

For those that seen me or know me should have known i have a bone dislocate from dancing last Sunday. yea~…it was not a severe injury where you need to do operation or wearing a cast instead of bandage which i’m using now. These is all because God had did a MIRACLE in my leg.

As what i recall during the dance, there is this movement which need one weight on hands on the right and left respectively, then suddenly when the weight was all on my left leg, i guess it was either bone or ligament just snap, i mean just when out where it suppose to be, then i loose balance and immediately landed on the floor with my hands holding my leg ( with either bone or ligament facing outward ) so hardly because the pain was so super duper till i can’t even shade a single tears. All i hope is i wont get step by the other dancers dew the songs as not ended yet.

But thank God after everything ended, Rachel which is the dance choreographer approach and ask whats the matter, then continue by my lovely dad. I was too focus on the pain till i can’t tell what happen but just to tell them and point to my knee. Both my dad and Rachel saw the “thing” pop out.. Straight away, my dad and one of my friend Roy carried me up to a chair.. As the minute both of them carried me up, i can feel that “thing” just went back in..it just pop back in where it suppose to be, without any major screams where u normally seen in TV dramas. The minute the “thing” when back in, I know it was God that put it back in without me noticing the pain. I knew it was God who did miracles in my leg. If it was not God that fix my problem, that “thing” might be still sticking out and has to force back in by the bone specialist..that time i should be screaming like nobody business!…but seriously THANK GOD!!..

I’m so bless with my lovely family and relatives that concern and take care of me. Not loosing out the CNN of the family mr ALAN CHONG who advertise the latest update to my friends and relatives in FB, up to date pics. Friends called up and sms me and those who wrote comments and prayer in my wall…i was so touch and happy to have such great friends.. you guys are a blessings to me. Thank God through out everything, YOu have shown your blessing to me..YOU have did a great MIRACLE in me..YOU are a GREAT GOD!!..

Determine to get THIN

DETERMINATION is a long big word..

same goes to the meaning of this word.

When you wanna slim down or just cut down calories inside your body,

is owez easy to say..

maybe the first 2 to 3 days u are keen and will do anything just to keep your diet..

but when..DETERMINATION fail!..

everything DOOM!

Same goes to me..

but thank GOD..

i never stop achieving one of my goal, which is to get thin..

but still...the word DETERMINATION again..is getting further now..

due to the busy period and going home late after work..

make me tired and off to bed to get a rest instead of doing my regular exercises..OH GOSH!..no good at all..

Well...from next week onwards..

NO CARBO!!

Breakfast - NO CARBO

Lunch - NO CARBO

Dinner - NO CARBO

Eat more VEGETABLES and FRUITS!..

Cut down sweet stuffs... ( bye YOYO )..well..maybe once in a while...oopsss..

Bye KOPI PING in FOOK YUEN..well..kurang manis la....hahaha..

n DRINK MORE WATER!!

and last n the most important thing...

EXERCISE!!..

no time for exercise is a bullshit..is just the same thing as giving excuses in no time to practice instrument..

Will try out for 3 months..

and see what results..

can show other ppl we don't need expensive treatment and pills to SLIM DOWN!

ANGRY BIRD cakeee??

An Angry bird cake??

how cute...

seriously need hearts and efforts to finish this whole bunch of angryyy birds...haha

Angry bird...

what next??

pig pig 猪cake?????...

i love to see it..haha..

You started calling again~..

I dun know in what reason..

you start calling again..

start asking where am i

start asking what am i doing

start asking how am i the whole day..

yes..u never once stop asking "what you doing?"

Well..

i had promise myself ..

a promise that can help me not fall back into hurts again..

a promise that will make me stronger in life..

the 2nd piercing is to remind myself..

each time i look into the mirror...

the 2nd piercing reminded me so strongly..

Each time u call..

I remind myself again not to think too much..

I remind myself it was only just a frenly call..

yes...and these are the thoughts that are owez stay in my heart..

and it will never change..

forever..

B'cz of the past..

I protect myself from hurt

I protect myself from being used..

I protect myself in sweet talks and "promise" that never once made..

Tat's y i am more careful in life

Tat is one of the reason why i dun wanna meet u..

Give me more time..

I will meet u again..

tat time..no other feelings juz oni Friend..

there will be tat day..

but..

thanks again for caring..

appreciate it a lot..

Baby Carmen~....

Baby Carmen~..

She is just so adorable..

each time i see her.. her smile just melted everyones heart..

but..1 thing

she choose ppl..

oni want liang zai ko ko to carry...hahaha...

but she just soooo cute~...

之前和之后的“笑”

I love to smile...

Since baby...sleep oso smile...

I knw i love to smile...

Smile can make ppl happy...

Smile is suppose to be from the heart...

I know...i love to smileee

BUT..

When a person had reach to a certain age,

where they experience hurt,

where they really know what love means,

where they know how heart pain it is to be hurt by a person u love the most..

S.M.I.L.E

can be fake..

no more from the heart..

only a show..

it had become another tool to hide the hurt u have..

我爱笑

baby的时候，睡觉都会笑

我知道我是爱笑。

笑能够让周围的人感觉温馨和开心。

笑是因该从心底的

我知道....我是爱笑的...

但是

当一个人长大了。

当一个人经历过伤痛的时候，

当一个人明白什么事爱的时候，

当一个人被一个她很爱的人伤的时候，

笑

已变成的很假，

已不时发自内心的笑容，

“它”变成了一种掩饰，

“它”变成了一种用具掩盖心里面的痛

BUT!!

I belive..

once u learn your lesson..

you are even more wiser~!!..

u stand back on the ground..

force yourself to be stronger~..

I believe!!

there will be this one day..maybe not now..

smile can be from the heart again..

但是！！

我相信

以当你从失败中学习

你会比之前聪明了许多。。

你会再爬起来。。

逼自己坚强起来

我相信！！

总会有这一天，也许不是现在

“笑”可以再次从 心底的。

2nd piercing means..

This 2nd piercing is to remind myself not to fall back into your arms..

Dun knw whether the ear ring i gave it to u, u still keep a not.....

but if u wanna throw..up to u...

" Cam Whorrinnggg " with my short hair..

Never tried taking pics like this for quite some time dy...

After cutting short my hair...i think this is the first "cam-whorringgg"...

=.="

Well~...

That's all for today~..

Came back~!!

Just came back from my trip to KL, Malacca and Penang for almost a week..

However.. am kinda lazy to update my blog...

Well...will uploads some pic on and off bout the trip~...

All i know is...

I'm fresh back from my trip..

back to the straight path...

I'm really trying very hard to keep u out my mind.. and is working day by day..

so plz dun ask me out, cz i dun wanna see u

and u shud know the reason..

I will reply u...

but plz dun ask stupid question..u not a kid nymore..

~..i'll appreciate it lotzz~

Thank u~...

WOW~...talk like i'm grown up ba...keke...

Well...I AM..

and I'm strong enough not to fall back into your arms...

and u make me strong..so be proud of me instead~

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts..

Listen to this song..and those are words tat i want u to know..

Dun tell me.."we dun know what will happen in future"

that is just another bullshit..

sry to be hush~..but tats the truth..

isn't it true??

Well...we are still frens..no doubt...

keep it..precious as a frenship..

Packing to KL wif KFC gang~!!..

Finally...

First time in my whole entire life, going holiday out of Sabah alone with friends,

Not with parentssss...

OH GOSH~!!..

I can't believe it..~!! YEAH~!!..

Well... First of all..

THANKS papa n mama for allowing..

Have to learn how to spend wisely...

Canot simply simply waste money dy...hehe..

I will take this 1 week to tune back my life..

I felt tat, is so hard to just put down a feeling..

I need more stronger strength,,

More laughter

Lesser tears..No..shud say

NO TEARS anymore..

Well...

This is LIFE~..

sometimes u got to experiece a lil bit of bitter and sour in life~

There is no such thing of sweetness throughout a life journey~..

No matter what..

Thanks for asking and caring again..

SHORT AGAIN~

Cut short again.... Cut off all those unhappiness again..but just now u just added few more sadness. you knw? you noticed? i bet u dun knw a thing..well...true oso...what am i thinking~?

I really dun knw why?

What issit so much to check on me?

You know tat each time you sms, you add another hurt on me..

You never notice all this...

I dun understand~...

I thought u know how i feel, I tot u know how to let me go....

Let me go meanss....completely CUT OFF from me ..

I thought tat is what you want~!!..

so what you really want now?

I think of YOU

This view is taken in front of Wisma..

Nice view...

Each time i look at the calm sea..

No doubt, i think of u..

But is another way how i remind myself to be strong.

海

YOu did a great job again...

THUMBS UP for u..

First Day of July

Today is the first day of July.

Time really flies by so quickly.

I can't imagine that it has been half a year dy..

What have i done in the fist half of the year?

waiting~.. I've been waiting for more than a year.

I'm so glad that i have made a stop in this.

Is not i give up, Is just that giving both side leaving a better life.

2nd half of the year i hope everything goes smoothly,

From the day we stop texting each other, i knew that i have made the right choice.

Seeing you now living your life without guilt,

seeing you now living your life without me as one of your burden,

Well...

I'm learning and never easy to put down.

This is part of life,

you have teach me how 2 be more stronger in my life.

Sometimes i ask God, why you treat me like this? why you can live life so happily and leaving me facing all those pain and hurts alone.

Now i understand...

All this while, All these years...

I really know what is LOVE.

Love doesn't mean must be together

like there's a chinese terms..

“爱不一定是占有"

而是

"爱是为彼此祝福”

Love doesn't mean owning someone, but is to give blessing to the person you love.

Well...

As long your face is showing the happy look

My face will also happy for you.

As for me..

NO worries..

I can handle myself~..

All the BEst to u~..

Love~.

When you love somebody so much,

you will want him or her to be happy,

you will want him or her to be the most joyful and happy person in the world,

no matter whether you have him or her to be in your life, because he or she oredy did appear in your life.

Though sometimes you think is a waste just to end like this,

but when you think he or she is happy with what it is now,

it makes you wanna happy for him or her....

Well..

Is never easy to say " I will forget you"

Cz you wont and impossible to forget the person u love.

It has been just a few weeks, but it seems like yearss...

It might be a good thing for both party.

How are you lately?

Happy? i bet u are~...

Well...good for you..

Keep up the happiness then....

:)

祝你生日快乐

Today is your birthday~!!

Wish you a Wonderful and memorable BIRTHDAY~!!

Happy everyday~!!

Your gift..

I keep it in my shelves

That is for you, so i wont give it away.

That gift kinda has meaning.

everything inside that glass bowl, is "baobei"

What u gave me, everything will b inside.

Well..

That is just a gift.

For NOW~!!

YOU

Forget the pass and live and per sue your goal

you have a goal i know..

SO go for it~!!..

With what you have now, with what work you are working now

WORK hard to achieve what you wanted~

All the best in life..

and take good care of your health..

AND AND AND

Yen yee's baby just gave birth to a baby girl at 4pm just now.

same date with your b'day~!!

happy for her~

Happy BIRTHDAY~

生日快乐~！！

to you

and

WELCOME

a new born baby~

Happy?

Thanks for standing in my shoe

I know you do it b'cz u dun wan me to cry.

This is also good for you, one day u will know it

Well~..

Good that you are happy now, so am I

4 days more to your birthday~

Not long from now..

I believe u will have a memorable one~..

Happy Birthday~

over~

Today is the 5th day

This is the longest

I really can't believe this is happening.

I thought everything is what i wanted.

"爱情将两个人由陌生变成熟悉，

又由熟悉变成陌生。"

I read this in an article~..

I think this is what happen now.

Well..

I think you might like it this way

If you like it this way, Then let it be this way.

As long you are happy with what you are now. Live it tat way.

This is my test again.

Is a tough test.

Really tough one~

Dear Family

I know you love me. I love you all too

BUT

I really don't wanna say it anymore.

Everything is over~

Really 彻彻底底 over~..

Dear Friends

Those harsh words, those advices

I understand. I know you guys also love me..

Sorry for not listening.

S.H.E - 不作你的朋友

慢慢失忆 所有和你的事情必须忘记  爱的盆地 深怕在一滴眼泪就会决堤  我也不想 被你肯定 在这个时候说我 让你感动过
别握住我的手 说我一定会懂 作不成的爱人 变成最好朋友  别牵著我的手 想著别人脸孔 换个方式牵手 并不会更好过  可不可以 不作你朋友 
慢慢心痛 没有人发现我和从前不同  你的眼中 看得见另一个人给的感动  我也不要你心疼我 在这个时候对我 比从前温柔
应该放晴的天气 还下雨 别这样下去 我难过 但是说不出口 
Rap:一直逃避 我以为闭上眼睛就能忘记    我的记忆开始在雨天的七月二十三    慢慢经过我们一起绕过的十字街头    怎麼走都走不到尽头 
可不可以 别回头 可不可以 就放手 可不可以 不作你的朋友

Will be fine~

Today you sent the longest message ever.

I think this is the last message u sent. I'm really thankful that u din reply me. If not i scared i might reply u back. Then everything will "毁灭".

I hope after today, after this very second.

you can be a good person. Love and cherish the one that love you.

I'm sorry to write those message.

Is not true~

I never meant that.

This moment.

I'm glad that you stand at my shoe and think.

If i can treat u as " FRIEND" so easily, that means i never love u before.

Give me time. at the moment is difficult and is impossible.

When the day i can call u friend.

Thats the day i put everything down.

Now..is hard..

11 more days to yr b'day..

i dun think what we planned can still go on...

Well~..

wish you Happy Birthday then~...

and be happy each day..

I hope today is the day of tears.

Last day of sadness..

After today~..Everything will be as fine

After today~.. Everyday will be as happy..

:)

Human~

Sometimes~

I was wondering~..

If 1 day you open my heart and see all those bruises and scares that never once healed~..

what will you feel?

We are human~..

We have feelings..

We are human~

We do have limits

We are human~

Our heart is not made of steel

B'cz we are human..sometimes acting might fail

B'cz we are human.. Is okay tat we fail to be stronger, But remember to be more stronger the next second~

B'cz we are human

Is okay if u cry, But remember to wipe off those tears as fast as possible and smile again.

B'cz we are human

Is normal to get hurt~

How hurt you get from the opposite side, how hurt tat person made u..

Remember to spread medicine on those scars and let your heart beat again..

B'cz we are human~..

WE have brain to think~

As long tat person u love is happy with his life,

How suffer you act or how those tears flow like a river.

With one of his smile~..

everything is worthful~

Forgive and Forget~..

Forgive the one tat hurt you~..

B'cz God forgive everyone of us, even though we sometimes never even care a bout it.

Tomorrow will b another wonderful day~..

Ciao~

Kat & Leigh's Wedding + Muaa BIRTHDAY!!

Just came back from KL~..

Had spend some times with my family and also relatives in Penang n KL~..

This time went back to Penang was to attend my cousin's wedding.

Well~..TaadDAhH~...

our newly member in

LEE's family~.

.

Before the day i went down to KL, i had a food poison~..OH great~!!..

I vomited till nothing i can vomit dy~..

Thanks for my uncles and aunties that was so concern tat nite..

My dad n mom n not forgeting my sis.. also balik balik go to the washroom n ask whether am i okay?

And also someone that still care although we oni can contact thru sms tat time.

Thankss for those concerns~..

This year's birthday falls on the day i'm in KL~

so nothing much happen. Same as all tho

se years~..

Birthday is the only day where u get meaningfu

l spamss on your FB wall~..

I am happy tat some friends call me up during my b

'day~.. Jia vei & Nelsquare~!!..

n also to somebody (u know who u are)~..thanks again for remembering my b'day~

You still owe me so many presents~!!...

all collecting dust in your house~..

LOL~..=.="

well~..is okay~I'm already "man yi" n oso happy

...THANKS~

o yea~...not forgeting presentsss~....

Thankss to kwan yi, yen yee n wai ling for their presents..i used it a lot during my trip to KL..

That is wat i wanted to buy in KL, but no need dy..hehe...

Kun yee~...love your gift too~...will shift new wallet soon~..keke...thanks dear~..

N the othersss~

Vic, chee yung, Tian lung, nev, fred

, ( GUYS alwayss )

...u guys belanja me food during the upperstar dinner~..(celebrated earlier b4 going to KL)

n a sudden b'day cake.

I so pai seh tat time. I tot tat cake was to the other ppl's table, manatahu it came closer to me~!!..LOL~...i clap so loud lagi tu~...( i tot it was other ppl's cake)..

Well~...thankss guyss~..

* p/s Mr CTY~ aka my k-go~..u still owe so many p

resentss a...u dun forget..keke..

What i need now is to just put my focus on my studies n just do my best in everything i can.

As for the old JINN...BYE BYE~...never to come back again...

AND

say HELLO to the new JINN~..

As now, my fren is trying to build a band. and i'm one of the member~..hehe..HAPPY~..

i will just put my mind in it~..

compose songs!..yeah~!!

watever izzit~...

YOU~..thanks you very much for everything~..i'm happy now~!!..

STRONGER!

Writing this in d middle of waiting for our flight to Penang.

Flight delay from 5.10pm to 6.20pm...haizzzz....BIASALAA~...

With the sudden delay of flight, make me have so many free times.. Well... i've tried so hard not to think, not to expect anything from u...Where i go, there sure have our memories, no matter how small detail tat memory can be..but there always your face popping out in my mind. Sometimes, i felt so unfair, i felt so being used. But in the same time, i felt tat she is oso hurt. Tat makes me even down. Y? do u ever think before saying words that is always being so important in life. The words that u say really affects a person.

I know u too long, understand u too long.....

Memoriesss and past never can i forget in life..

All i can do is to be MORE STRONGER each day~..

not to be the JINN tat is so naive believing s easily.

God...

u know my weakness, YOU know how i feel everyday. YOU know how i learn to be STRONGER each day just to improve myself in future~.. GOD~.. YOU know my struggles, YOU know how i try my best to live better in life without his sms'sss...

GOD.. no matter what i have done in past.. YOU still love me...

GOD...give me strength o cope all those struggles n

GUIDE our trip to PENANG n KL..

bless our family having great time together....THANK U LORD..

NOW~...remind myself again...

BE MORE STRONGER each day~!!

海

海

you always lighten me up.

No matter how stress up or unhappy a person can be, "you" owez did a great job in lighten up their mood.

Today, u did me a great job!.....THUMBS UP for U..

you gave me inspiration what are the lyrics that i can use in my song.

here goes:

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

secret......not good in chinese wordings...sooo...stay tune la...

Today...

I"M HAPPY!!

3rd DAY of short hair

Today is my 3rd day enjoying my new hair. (ooopsss...)

For me how i get loose with all those sadness n emonesss in the past, CUT YOUR HAIR!!..

Change a new look, change everything that u can to improve in future~.. i'm learning so hard to change myself to become more "JIAN QIANG".

No more sad post in FB, no more emo post in FB!

aLL GONE!!...

b'cz of u, i learn to wake up!

b'cz of u, i learn to balance myself for not falling down again.

b'cz of u, i have learn to be STRONG!..."JIAN QIANG"

so....u help a lot...

and one more thing~!!

B'cz of u, I CUT SHORTTT my hairrrrrr...hehe...

wanted to cut it since last time, but no guts!...

I have full of GUTS liao~...uisheh!!

so...go happy with your life!..appreciate the people around u...

Love n cherise~..

for certain reason, maybe friend oso we can't be..but i will owez remember u in life..

all the best in future. CIAO~..

NEW JINN!

Last year when i know the truth, i start to emoooo quite often, especially the first week.

BUT...a year after, which is 2 days back...

I learn another way to LOVE a person, during this 1 year, i know that he still never really change, especially with me. Well, due to some matter, I learn to love him another way.

Not to increase his burden, not to increase his "fan nao", i choose to carry all those alone. But i know how 2 handle with those burdens now.

Thats the reason y today i made a really HARSH ch

oice~....i CUT MY HAIR SHORTT!!

after cutting all those hairsssss, the sadnessss, the burdenssss, stresssnessss all fall of one by one~..they just slip of my head, i feel that i'm loosseee with all thoseee emonessss..

However, is never easy to just forget those mo

ments together.

Just remember the happy moments together, then you will be just fine. That is how i releassee all those burdensss..

Love doesn't mean that u must be with that person, NO!..

LOVE a person is not adding burdens t

o him, not addi

ng hurts n "fan nao" on him..NO!

THe most important, he happy....then wat u do is worthful~..then i'm happy as well.....

However, from now on, I will serious focus on my studiess, my JAZZ..n IMPROVISATION!..

n nowwww~....pics NEW J

INN

xie xie ni dai gei wo kuai le he bei shang......

wo hui hao hao guo wo de sheng huo~ ni ye bu yong wei wo er fan nao le....

jia you ba~..

那个女孩~

有一天，有个女孩坐在沙滩上看着海。看着看着，突然想起四天前所发生过的事。她感觉她这一生来担子最大的时候。

那天，女孩因为考试压力，摆着一个很累的脸给他看。他也明白，带女孩去沙滩走走放轻松。女孩在车睡了一下，没想到一醒来，车就弯进海滩去。女孩好奇的问：“为什么转进这里？”那男的却答：“带你放轻松啦！不好啊，回家咯~”

结果他们就在沙滩上走走，那男的有好几下想抱那女孩但女孩怕自己太重拒绝了。但那男的却说：“让我抱抱看，你有没有重了？” 哈哈。。结果那女的还是没给他抱。

走完了，就去玩很大很大的象棋。那男的不会玩，女孩也教他怎么玩结果他也放弃了。

他们逗留在那边大约有1个小时就回家了。回到家女的就爬上床睡了，还叫男的叫她起床继续读书。

过了不久，女的也醒了继续读书。那男的陪了几下就睡了，真是睡猪一个。

女孩读下书觉得闷，突然看见了他的电话。就拿起他的电话看看里面的东西

那女的看到有很多他和她女朋友的合照。心里是哀痛的却当着设么都没看到。过后他就到信息箱去。既然被他看到他写了：

“老婆，我从去年都不爱她了，我放弃她了，我现在爱的是你，我都把心给了你，不要离开我好吗”

当时这女孩的脑里一切是空白的，眼泪就像刚开喉咙水那样一次流个不停。她跑出房外哭了。但那个男的什么都没发觉到。

那个女孩突然就回到房间，看着床上睡着的男孩自己却哭得不停。她收拾桌上的书，拿起包包走写了一封信，走向他额头吻了一下就走出房间。

头脑什么都想不到，只记得那些读过的信息。那女孩一边走着一边哭着，突然一群野狗对着她吠。那女孩很怕狗，被狗追过也被咬过。当时的她很想倒回头回到那男孩的家但还是坚持不要。那女孩感觉好像走头无路了，因为走到哪里就一定有很多只狗。过了没多久，那女孩想起了一位朋友叫家玮。她misscall了他，但他没接。那时的她简直是失去方向，很怕，又心痛，脑力却想起那些心痛的信息。真是活该！！。。

过了不久，那女孩的朋友复她电话了。她朋友吓倒却在电话里骂了那女孩。真是活该，电话也快没钱了。跨电话前，他叫朋友来载，还叫那女孩不要乱走。（当时那电话里的朋友不在当地）

那女孩的电话也没钱了。当时的她很绝望，很心痛。想着刚刚那女孩和那个男孩都还很开心的在沙滩散步走走。

还记得从去年跟她说过的每一句话。

虽然知道不能像以前那样的相处却傻傻的爱着那男孩。

那女孩好几次想要放弃，好想要放开，就好好的让他们在一起，但那个男的不放开那女的，说了好多好多让女孩再次重新的力量等待和陪伴他。就知道是痛，但那女孩还是承受着那些痛。因为只要有爱，他们又多亲密的和照或有多甜蜜的信息她都可以承受。

但是那女孩始终不明白为什么他要这样写。那女孩明明知道那男孩不是坏人却找不到设么原因他要这样写。

当时的女孩坐在那男孩的家外面，因为那里是最没狗的地方。女孩已经离开了那男孩的房间有一段时间了，但那男孩什么都没察觉到。

女孩的视线没有一次离开过他房间，希望等他醒了以后会直接跑出来找她。但希望越大，失望越高。那男孩 还在睡觉。

结果车来了，女孩也上了车，但视线还是在那男孩的房间。还是没发觉到她真的走了出来。

女孩心痛的离开了那里。

这是第二次，那女孩什么都没说就走掉了。

过了不久，那男的终于醒了。发现女孩不见了，打了好几百通电话给那女孩。那女孩心痛的不敢接电话，很怕在听到那男孩的声音。结果就传发了一封信息说不用担心，她很安全。

但那个男的不停的打电话，女的也不停的哭。

那男孩孩还去她家等她回家。

这时，那女孩很矛盾。他心里到底是爱谁？

不懂！头也很乱。。。。他也传发了好几封信息来。

那女的在心里想，她到底是被玩吗？

Anyone knows the ending?? fit it some endings u guys think is a good ending?

HELP

Is 1am in the morning, and i still havent open my books to study..

No mood, everything just dun stick in the brain..

wat is this~!!...

i need SOS

HELP!!

WHY!!

Now is 4am in the morning, just finish revising for theory later at 8am.

The minute i rest for awhile, thoughtttssss and emonesssssss come crouching at me again~!!..

....i just want to concentrate on my studies... why??

tearsss n stresssnesss, problemmmsss that canot been solve just come one by one..

As if they know the right time to hunt u....

WHY!!!...

a lost blog...

Exams is just round the corner, NO!..is just next week!!

For so many months of studies and lessons being thought, frankly tell you, i revise but not every subject, i practice but not every time..is not proud to say tat but is true..

Today writing this post, i dun know what is my main point anyway. Like what i said previously. I lost my direction. Well, i just writ what that is in my heart, but not all...

My emoness never once left me since tat day, i've tried to kick off this emoness but it never once success. Because i know tat is not easy when both party has already given everything to make both party happy even this very moment. For some people might think that i'm not matured to deal my problem, but please i have my right to handle it myself, though for some people, especially my love oness. They might not agree but i just have to run my life my own in future. They love me i know, i sincerely know that they love me. I love them too, but i dun know how to express it. For some reason, i have to kept everything inside me. I don;t want to pour it out is not because that i scared that they will pity me, b'cz i know they wont. Is just tat, sometimes,some matters especially personal problems is really better to just keep it in heart. ( i know again, my love oness will still disagree this)

今年我21岁了。一般人都会想怎么过？，和谁过？

今天，看了一个blog。就决定不想在期待什么。。。久顺其自然就好。

虽然之前都会提醒你一定要帮我度过我21岁的生日，你都会讲一定会。

可是现在， 我还是不要期待设么。因为怕失望还比期待恐怖。

可是你说过的每一句话，我都会放在心里。不会期待你会实现但至少你告诉我，我已经满足了

或取只是一封“Happy Birthday" 我都会好好save起来。

因为你还是一样那么重要。

可以说是永远吧。

I lost my direction

Writing this in the midst of practicing my instrument. Take a break awhile~

This semester is a hectic sem..lots of assignments, homeworks, practicing and lotsssss to do~

With all the assignments compiling together one by one, i found myself don't know which to do first.

Not only assignments, but also my major minor instrument.

i still can't get the tone for jAZZ... practice the piece over and over again, try to get the tone, try to feel the soul in it but still cannot feel anything. Maybe i felt it but i'm not sure~..

Violin is also another prob~ Intonation part is still my weakness~...

without having the correct intonation, i can't play a piece well..huhu..

All kinds of emotions keep on bugging me~..

All this emotions can make me feel so down in just seconds..

I've cried before for no reasons, or maybe "my prob"....

I find myself had lost my direction....

Don't know what to do, don't know how to handle, don't know how to just let my brain focus on things that is useful.

upper BRACES ON!!

UPPER BRACES ON!!!!!....

hehehhee....

ZE KUAN!!....u see la...wait till i take off those pagar~, i show off to u !!..

hehehe....

JAZZ

This semester's assignments is about JAZZ..

GOOD!...very good indeed...kekekekeke....

since i'm taking up Jazz piano as my major instrument, is also good that i know the origin of jazz and the meaning of JAZZ~~~...yeah~~~...kekke

I've tried asking friends in facebook what do they thoght of JAzz

and they all gave their very best answers...some say swing, some say groovy some even say ME!

WOW....y me? i'm not tat advance in improvising....so no no no!..canot say ME..keke

Well....this sem is a tough 1....

assignments are pilling up 1 by 1....

and the recent assignment i'm trying to finish is about JAZZ...is not easy..looks easy but it kinda cracked my head a lot more than other stuffs....

Well....this is the latest, try to update more of my life...but can't really pop everything here...

but will probably post the happy side of me..ciao~